Boq to basics on the Yellow Brick Road

By Alfred P. Doblin

Like millions of others, I saw Wicked: For Good over the Thanksgiving holiday. To cut to the chase down the yellow bricks, I enjoyed it; I enjoyed, very much. The second part of the elongated stage musical’s transformation into a film is visually stunning and musically perfect. But…

Is it just me, but what about Boq?

Look, I took my niece to see Wicked at the Gershwin Theater in October 2005. I know Boq becomes a walking, talking, and chopping recyclable. On stage, I did not dwell much on the unfairness of it all. Things were harder for Nessa—what can be harder than having a house fall on you?

Perhaps it is because Ethan Slater, the actor who plays Boq in the film, was SpongeBob Square Pants on Broadway. From a singing-dancing sponge to a walking-talking can—the actor has range. He’s charismatic. But I digress.

The film gives the audience more of a chance (spoiler alert—albeit too late) to take in that the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion all have less than six degrees of separation.

This is particularly true of Boq and Fiyero, who according to many press accounts, cavorted shirtless in the water in a cut scene from the first Wicked.

Boq becomes literally heartless after a scorned Nessa puts a spell on him, forcing Elphaba to put another spell on him to prevent him from dying. Boq, now heartless, is well… also spiritually heartless, vowing to take out Elphaba.

Who can blame him? He led Nessa on, but for that he is condemned to an eternity of facials with Bar Keepers Friend?

What happens to him? And more important, what happened on the Yellow Brick Road? Wicked: For Good sets up the trio—Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion with backstories. I get why Dorothy remains in the background; I’ve seen Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. But wouldn’t Boq recognize Fiyero in his new iteration? Wouldn’t Fiyero know it was Boq?

Forget about the Cowardly Lion, who is minor in all this. Anecdotally, I heard the lion’s big song was cut from the immersive The Wizard of Oz at the Sphere in Las Vegas, so it’s not a good year for him. And homoerotism aside, because as a gay man I would have liked to see the cavorting in the water scene, how does the Tin Man react to seeing Fiyero/Scarecrow?

Tin Man: Dude, did you mess with that Wicked Witch? You used to have a hairy chest and now you, literally, have a patch of thatch?

Scarecrow: Listen, my little animated muffler, she’s not like that.

Tin Man: Look at me. First her sister and then her—they are evil. Look at me!

Scarecrow: Were you so attractive before? You were a Munchkin.”

Tin Man: That’s it! That’s it! I always knew you looked down on Munchkins.

Scarecrow: Everyone looks down at Munchkins. You’re like 3-feet tall.

Tin Man: Don’t you dare body shame me. And that was only in another version of the story. I have size.

Scarecrow: I thought that was your ax.

Tin Man: I ought to slice you up right now.

Scarecrow: You can’t scare me.

Tin Man: How long have you been waiting to say that to someone?

Scarecrow: Not long. I’m naturally clever.

That’s one possible exchange, or does Fiyero play dumb—he is brainless—and not let Boq in on the planned intrigue.

Scarecrow: Which witch did that to you?

Tin Man: Both of them.

Scarecrow: You must have done something [pause] wicked. [Scarecrow winks to the camera]

Tin Man: I love Glinda. I always loved Glinda.

Scarecrow: Been there. Done that. The bubble gets annoying and let me tell you, she is obsessed with that wand.

Tin Man: So, are you up for this? We’re going to melt the witch.

Scarecrow: Melt her?

Tin Man: Yes, throw water on her and she melts.

Scarecrow: Dude, and they say I’m brainless? Remember the picnic by the water?

Tin Man: She didn’t go in. She didn’t go in.

Scarecrow: Are you sure?

Tin Man: No, they cut the scene.

Scarecrow: I rest my case.

Tin Man: You have no case. This is a dumb conversation.

Scarecrow: I have no brain.

Tin Man: I have no heart.

Scarecrow: There’s a lake over there. Maybe we could finish what we started.

Tin Man: I can’t go into the water. Do you know what would happen to my joints if they were exposed to water.

Scarecrow: I do. It could be fun.

Tin Man: For you.

Scarecrow: I’m still a prince. It’s still about me. I’m brainless, not selfless.

Tin Man: I’m going to throw a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch.

Scarecrow: OK. Throw your water. I say when you’re done with that, we scare the Coward Lion.

Tin Man: That seems heartless. That’s my job.

Scarecrow: Exactly.

Tin Man: Dude, I miss that day in the water.

Scarecrow: Don’t get all misty on me. You’ll rust and I don’t have a can or bottle of…

Tin Man: You can’t say that. This is a family blog.

Scarecrow: Right. So, shall we just skip along with Bob Dole’s granddaughter in the calico?

Tin Man: It’s gingham, dummy, and who’s Bob Dole?

Scarecrow: Who’s Bob Dole? Let me tell you a story about the Wizard of Oz. He comes from a place called Kansas…

As I said at the top, I thoroughly enjoyed Wicked: For Good. But too much is still unresolved. Does that bother anyone else? Give us the untold story about the Tin Man. What’s his backstory? I want another sequel. Wicked: I’ll be Boq.

Until next time, Alfred with P