The Queen of Versailles, lost in the wilderness

By Alfred P. Doblin

You wonder how these things begin?[1] It does not begin in a glade where the woodchucks woo, that is for sure. And to be clear, this isn’t a mega-flop; no one says, “I was born in Dusseldorf and that it is why they call me Rolf.[2] But not far into the new Stephen Schwartz musical, The Queen of Versailles, I started humming in my head, (yes, I’ll be humming[3]) another Schwartz lyric, “Where are you going?”[4]

And then I began to wonder “does anyone have a map?”[5]

OK. I will try to refrain from showtunes from shows that were better conceived, but I make no promises. The Queen of Versailles is a mess, and I so wanted to like this show.

It has Stephen Schwartz, one of the best composer/lyrists in the business. It’s directed by Michael Arden of Maybe Happy Ending and Parade fame. It has Kristin Chenoweth, for gosh sakes! Yet, the whole does not equal the sum of the parts. Not even close.

The set is impressive, maybe too impressive – think original production of Sunset Boulevard. The scenic design by Dane Laffrey and the costumes by Christian Cowan are over the top, a metaphor for the message of the show. The story of Jackie Siegel’s rise from obscurity to absurdity is an old song. It’s a tragedy.[6] It’s a unique America tragedy, because there is no redemption at the end. She loses it all. She loses a daughter. Yet, Jackie remains focused on glitter and be gay.[7] She keeps building her Versailles, an abomination of taste in Orlando, home to Sea World and Disney, and putt-putt golfing.[8]

The Queen of Versailles is based on a documentary, much as the creators of Grey Gardens took the sad song, really it was a tragedy, of Edith “Big Edie” Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith “Little Edie,” as depicted in the documentary of the same name and made it into a brilliant musical. But in The Queen of Versailles, the brilliance comes not from the narrative, but from the sparkly costumes and the final set piece that distract from a flat plot that never pops.

Shows about unpleasant, self-obsessed people can work. Audiences don’t need a play about Mary Magdalene.[9] But in this case, Jackie is little more than an avatar in her own story of excess. We can’t get invested in her because we aren’t given enough capital by way of script or music.

The Queen of Versailles might work if the songs were memorable, but they, surprisingly, are not. Schwartz has written glorious songs for so many musicals. The body of his work is extraordinary, but there is not one memorable song in the show. There are some with aspirations like “Caviar Dreams,” and some that try so hard to be musically fabulous, like “The Royal We,” a showpiece for Jackie and Marie Antoinette, but they do not come off.

Oddly, the most effective song is a duet sung by Jackie’s troubled daughter and her adopted one, “Pavane for a Dead Lizard.” It’s a bonding number, like “If Momma Was Married” from Gypsy, without any joy. It’s about a lizard that died from neglect.

Jackie’s story is bookended with that of Louis XIV, who built Versailles, and Marie Antoinette, who was married to Louis XVI. Perhaps if the creative team had aligned on one or the other, this could have been a more significant dramatic device. Louis XIV was all about excess, like Jackie, but he didn’t end poorly. That fate fell on his grandson and Marie Antoinette. Her tale is tragic, but the stories of her excesses are overblown and she, as the British would say, “comes a cropper.” That does not happen to Jackie. So, seeing Marie led off to the guillotine doesn’t quite work.

And the great F. Murray Abraham, who is cast as Jackie’s richer than rich husband, doesn’t get much to do. He’s almost a plot device like Wiley Post in The Will Rogers Follies, someone who marks the passage of time in Jackie’s life.

And so, the show comes to an unsatisfying conclusion. No lessons learned. No great songs sung. And yet, so many talented people on stage and behind – all lost in the wilderness[10] of West 44th Street.

Until next time, Alfred with a P

[1] The Fantasticks,[2] The Producers, [3] Carnival,[4] Godspell,[5] Dear Evan Hanson,[6] Hadestown, [7] Candide, [8] The Book of Mormon, [9] On the Twentieth Century – sorta, [10] Children of Eden